Church of Hell

I woke up to birdsong and the warm sun on my face. I threw open the window and breathed deeply, excited to face a new day. I rubbed the Sandman’s handiwork from my eyes and headed to the bathroom for my morning ritual.

I was immediately stuck by a vague unease, the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. “What the…”, I grunted, as I slowly backed into my bedroom.

I looked over to my open closet and realized that my small fire safe was ajar. It was normally locked since I seldom needed or even looked at the valuables contained inside.

Upon further investigation, I found that my mortgage was gone, as were my family heirlooms: assorted jewelry, old photos and the like. I walked, calmly, towards the stairs, forcing my breath to come in a more natural rhythm even though my heart rate would have made a hummingbird consult a cardiologist. I headed down the stairs, dreading what I expected to see.

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I’d like to call on all of you zombie sheep Christians to try a little thought experiment. I know that your priest, preacher, monsignor or other local cult church leader has indoctrinated you into believing that free thinking and open mindedness is a sin and that anyone who says anything that isn’t exactly what said ‘leader’ wants you to hear is wrong, even if there is factual evidence to back it up. That lack of dialog or doubt or questioning is becoming a real problem, and some of us are a little worried about you. I may be wrong in what I am about to say, but then again, I can apologize and admit that I am wrong. Your church, on the other hand, hardly admits to any atrocity or indecency committed because of its dogma even though it hasn’t changed much since the time that your instruction manual was written, a both ignorant and intellectually sparse time compared to humanity’s current store of knowledge. For example, if you are on the operating table and a woman who has spent the last 15 years or her life studying advanced medicine is slicing into your chest to remove a blockage from your still beating heart to save your very life, yet she’s an atheist, you would believe a statement she made on, say, human reproductive biology, less than you would believe a book dictated almost two thousand year ago to some Greeks by illiterate goatherds who were telling fantastical stories already hundreds of years old and passed down among generations in a way that, we all know, doesn’t allow any sort of embellishment. Oh wait, I think there’s a phrase for a tribal people passing down stories of some unexplained phenomena (sometimes called magic, conjuring or Chris Angel) as a mystical or religious event… do me a favor and go look at the wiki on Cargo Cults. It may help if you can see similar behavior applied to outsiders. When you get back, lets talk about the politicization of your faith, OK?

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My bro-in-law told me about a place he saw while on the way to apple picking:

http://www.scraptacularscraps.com/

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