This morning sucked. First, it looks like my state was suckered into voting for the wanna-be Bush Jr., McCain ass-sucking, Republican-in-Dem clothing Hillary. I didn’t vote. I have no great excuse other than my registration, which was turned in on time, apparently wasn’t entered into the system and I didn’t want to drive with two children in bad weather halfway around the state to cast a ballot in a county in which I no longer live to nominate someone who won’t be elected because he’s not on the right payrolls. After the enormous amount of fraud that happened in the last few elections here, I’ve lost any respect for and faith in our electoral system. So I didn’t vote.
Church of Hell
The sand in the swimtrunks of life.
Nad’s Hair Removal Cream – Minty Kiwi for your Hairy Huevos!
March 7th, 2008
I’ve been looking for the perfect hair removal cream for my balls for a long time. I’ve found some with Kiwi, and some with Mint, but never have I found a testicular depilatory cream that featured both Kiwi and Mint. That is until now…
I give you Nad’s Natural Hair Removal Cream:
The weird thing is, I don’t think it’s actually named for the colloquial term for balls (shortened from gonads to people who grew up in a cave, religious commune or New England). Apparently the creator of this fine company has a daughter named Nadine, which makes the child (now grown and most likely attending regular therapy) a great scapegoat to allow you to name your hair removal cream company after nut-sacks and get away with it.
1988 is ‘Cleveland’s Tribute to 80′s Hard Ro…’ holy shit, is that a chainsaw penis?
March 7th, 2008
I was cleaning out the memory of my phone, erasing my ‘Leonard Nimoy Sings Bilbo Baggins’ and ‘My Buddy Commercial’ ring tones, and also offloading all of the low grade and silly pictures I’d snapped over the last few months. The first one to catch my eye was a snap of a poster I took at a local burgers-and-trivia place that Stretch and I visit called Scorchers (always said with great flair and a slight lisp). This was a poster for an upcoming band night featuring self-styled ‘Cleveland’s Tribute to 80′s Hard Rock’, 1988.
I don’t even know where to begin.
Let it snow…
March 8th, 2008
Well, the weather outside is frightful since it’s been snowing pretty badly for about 24 hours straight. Being on the lake, we have nothing to block it so the parking lot is pretty bad with the drifts completely blocking in cars. We were watching some people trying to tow out cars that were stuck and blocking any plows from getting through (and making it impossible for anyone to move their cars) when we saw the following:
I was wanting the Benny Hill music to play but I don’t have any video editing software installed. They were trying to tow a PT Cruiser and couldn’t get it moving, so they added a second truck to help tow the first truck which was towing the PT Cruiser. Amazingly, it worked!
Farewell RIAA, we’ll miss you (like a horrible, burning ass-rash)
March 18th, 2008
I’ve been watching the RIAA sort of crash and burn (or at least trip and smolder) in what, as a consumer, appears to be the kind of blunders that dominate best selling books on business a scant few months after some major corporate upheaval (written in the ‘what-not-to-do’ flavor). It seems to me that the music industry wants to spin this whole decade like it was a war between the evil and smelly peer-to-peer-software wielding computer pirates and the Holy Knights of Musicdom, providers of the Healing Sounds of Peace for the worlds impoverished and diseased orphans, who are being systematically decimated by these wanton and gluttonous ne’er-do-well teenaged demons.
Bullshit.
Early Adopters are morons. Long live early adopters.
March 19th, 2008
There two kinds of people, generally, who buy new gadgets, software, and hardware the moment it’s released. These people used to be called beta testers and they would be paid to use a product for a given amount of time, to try and break it and to return their criticisms to the design team so that improvements and fixes could be made before the product launched.
Companies realized that there were people breaking down the doors, so to speak, to become testers. These people would actually pay to play with products before anyone else had a chance to even see them. These people would actually pay more -much more in some cases – for an inferior, buggy product just for the bragging rights to say “I had it first”. These people are called early adopters.
The Purple Pirate
March 24th, 2008
I saw this book the other day and had to snap a picture. If I was ‘The Artist Formerly Known as The Artist Formerly Known as Prince’, not only would I call my penis the ‘Purple Pirate’ but I would also have a little purple waistcoat and draw on a little mustache and eye patch. Then it’d be time to go hunt for booty!
The Fighting Liberals
March 27th, 2008
Here’s an excerpt from a piece on alternet by a writer named John Dolan:
“…most of the hardcore academic progressives I’ve known have tin ears. Their sheer awfulness is adaptive within the academic ghetto, in the way that a lack of any olfactory ability is adaptive for carrion eaters; but it’s disastrous when they try to talk to people outside their guild.”
This guy’s article is right on and worth a read. Kerry did botch it, most of the inellectual Left (oxymoron?) sound like the adults in a Charlie Brown cartoon and we’re too busy looking for small bits of lint on our cumberbunds to successfully block those kicks to the groin the Neocons keep serving up.
DC Comics: Promoting Anal Sex Since 1969
March 31st, 2008
We are all aware, I’m sure, of the steamy rumors concerning Bruce Wayne and his ‘ward’, Dick Grayson, but they are, at most, just rumors – there is no concrete evidence supporting these claims.
We had no empirical evidence that our favorite cartoony-book house was promoting anal sex until recently, when they released the action-figure “The Weaponeer of Qward” from their latest spin-off, Crisis on Infinite Earths. I haven’t collected any comic books since I gave up on Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Hard Boiled, Lenore and Kid Eternity a decade or two ago, and DC never really held a huge interest for me past some of the grittier stuff Warren Ellis and Frank Miller did (did they actually work for DC at any time?) but I always thought the million different cross-overs and spin-offs were nothing but a horrible attempt to squeeze more money out of their customers by killing off clones of their favorite characters. That is until I saw this action figure. All of those spin-offs and cross-overs are completely worth it as long as it leads us to have a major, family friendly company release a figurine that looks exactly like what I would expect someone to look like after having a large and non-lubricated object shoved directly up their ass. The long-sleeves-and-hot-pants are bad enough, but coupled with the raver sunglasses, the rectal-pain induced squat and the look of complete, utter shock, there’s not really any other viable explanations short of a completely bat-shit art director.